HOW TO: Get the very best table in any restaurant

(by Ted Nicholas)

Key words are: "Celebrating Tonight"

When calling for a reservation, say, "I’d like the very best, most special table you have. We’re celebrating tonight. What can you do for us?"

If you bring your spouse on a date instead of a client or friend, say instead, "I’d like the most romantic table you have in the corner, so we can sit side by side. We’re celebrating tonight."

If the maitre d’ asks what you are celebrating (unless, of course, it’s a birthday, anniversary, sales achievement, asset purchase, or other special event) say, "We’re celebrating our existence!" Indeed, each day in our lives deserves to be celebrated. Restaurant owners and managers always enjoy sharing the celebratory mood.

I’ve never failed to get the very best table. The restaurant is delighted to provide it, and it’s never cost me a penny in gratuities.